Ten Years Already?!

It's nearing the end of 2008, and a crazy young child eagerly turns on his television set to the Discovery Channel. He's into a strange show called The Future is Wild, which he has on DVD but is about to see on television for the first time, having seen its airing on an electronic TV guide. What he doesn't realize is that his life is about to change forever, for alongside this airing is a feature on an upcoming game called SPORE, where the player is able to evolve a creature from a tiny cartoony microbe to a spacefaring civilization. As a creative sort, he is immediately enticed by this and sets out to buy it as soon as possible. It isn't a long or hard wait, for the game comes out on September 7 and he's able to buy it on the weekend of the 13th. Once he boots it up on his computer, everything changes...

In case you couldn't tell, that's the story of how I came to play SPORE. It's hard to believe that it came out ten years today, and that I'm still playing it to an extent (mostly I just wait for anybody to come back and turn Pokemonkab's objectively mediocre creations into equally objective masterpieces). Not only that, but it's still my favorite game of all time because of how much you can do, though there are other games that have and still threaten to usurp that title (recently Rimworld, Stellaris, No Man's Sky, and The Sims 3).

Sadly, the reason that it doesn't feel like ten years since I started playing is because the game has been abandoned since 2011, when EA focused on Darkspore, which in my honest opinion is unworthy of having "Spore" in its title. Coincidentally, that's also the year I  began Spore the Next Level, with its many eye-gouge-out-inducing Artemis Fowl crossovers and the foundations of the Revolution Universe (though that wouldn't come into being until 2013).
Although EA has since discontinued updating the game, it is still supported by the amazing MaxisBazajaytee (PRAISE HIM), the servers are still online (though sometimes feel like they're being held together by duct tape and bubble gum), and plenty of talented creators are still making awesome creations that deserve their place on the MPN list. Unfortunately, the MPN Adventures list is a mess since any adventure that gets at least one play gets on there, although I have seen a few good ones here and there recently. Contrary to popular belief, the game isn't dead yet!

What Could Have Been

Thinking how long it's been since EA left Spore to wither makes me wonder what it would be like in a parallel universe where Spore was supported to the present day. By now we'd be on Spore 2 or 3, and the original game would have gotten quite a few expansion packs. The one true expansion we did get, Galactic Adventures, was simply amazing and made the game so much better, so one wonders how good future ones would have been. Presumably, we would've gotten the promised Aquatic Stage that a few people still clamor for to this very day, 13 years after Will Wright's presentation at GDC. However, the possibilities of alternate universe expansions are as endless as the game itself:

• A Planet/Solar System editor like GA's Adventure Creator, only inside Core Spore (perhaps part of an endgame God Stage)?
• A recent browsing of SporeWiki for ideas mentioned a cut "Terraforming Stage" that has nothing to do with the Space Stage; rather, it's in between the Civilization and Space Stage and sees your species attempting to reverse the effects of climate change, pollution, and environmental degradation you produced trying to conquer the world.
• I've always wanted to have more exploration/depth of your solar system. Currently, it's always the same configuration (in no particular order): a yellow star with a barren world, a gas giant, a T1 world with a crashed ship, and a your homeworld with a barren moon (sometimes a strange Cube Planet). You always visit the T1 planet, scan said ship, go to a neighboring system, and leave your home system behind FOREVER. This is fine because there's not much there, but I've always wanted to have an intermediate Solar Stage where you explore neighboring planets, colonize them, and make your way to inventing FTL travel.
• Patches to fix various annoying bugs, especially the one where the oceans disappear on planets you've terraformed (I worked hard on that!) and an outfit-replacing glitch with the Hologram Scout and GA that makes it literally unusable.
• More exploration of planets. Although the Hologram Scout has always existed (though, as menntioned, GA makes it impossible to use) and GA let you beam down to certain adventure planets, I think it'd be cool to send away teams to any planet's surface with allied ships on "foot" or in a vehicle. You could even have extras who wear red shirts and get killed to prove how dangerous said planet is and what a terrible mistake you've made!
• More parts packs like Creepy and Cute and the infamous Bot Parts that add interesting and wacky ways to create new creatures.
• Something completely out of left-field that radically changes the game like GA did.

In conclusion, it's been a long ten years and so much has changed. Unfortunately, Spore hasn't been able to change ever since EA/Maxis abandoned it, and it's a shame because there's so much that could've been done to fix the game and make awesome new expansion packs. In two years, No Man's Sky went from terrible and boring to amazing thanks to post-release support; after two years, Spore was practically abandoned in favor of the inferior Darkspore... which I will always blame for "killing" Spore.

(Speaking of No Man's Sky, I'm not going to delve into the similarity between the pre-release hype and release day disappointment between the two games. At least not yet.)

In any case, let's wish a happy decennial anniversary to my favorite game, one that shaped me into who I am for better or worse.

You Do Not Mess With the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster Messes with You

A few days ago, I decided to sit down and play a bit of my most favorite game: Spore. For those unaware, please feel free to read this paragraph. For those aware, feel free to skip this paragraph.

Spore is a rather old game (it was released on September 7, 2008) that has been pretty much abandoned by its developers since 2011, but continues to be fun and interesting as well as have a thriving community of fans (contrary to popular belief). In Spore, you evolve a lifeform from a single-celled microbe in the primordial soup to an interstellar alien race. There are many different ways to play it: you can be a tyrannical warlord or a peaceful trader. You explore a galaxy filled with beings, buildings, and vehicles other players have created, so it's a blend of singleplayer and multiplayer. The last (and only) major expansion pack was Spore Galactic Adventures, released in June 2009. It allows you to beam down onto planets and complete adventures made by players for fun and profit.

You see that striped orange cell? With the spikes? That's what I'm talking about.
(Not the big orange one in the background).

Now, onto the actual point of this post. As I was playing Spore the "old-fashioned" way, I began my journey in a crowded tidepool. Naturally, some of those little cells are going to be meaner than others, but I soon came across the meanest cell species of all: the Spiked Shyster. I can claim to be an expert on Spore, so I wasn't too surprised by seeing the Shyster and its ruthlessness. But that day, it dawned on me how ruthless the Spiked Shyster actually is.

It began with me minding my microscopic business, eating another cell called a Chomper that the Spiked Shyster attacked earlier. However, as I was eating the remains, another Spiked Shyster came into the area, noticed me, and chased me along with its friend. I outran them, eating meats to grow along the way. Eventually, I got bigger than them and turned to face them. But it doesn't end there, for the Shysters continued to injure me as I tried to eat them. Somehow, I did just that.

So, in conclusion, as you play Spore and meander the tidepool, remember this: You do not ████ the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster ████s you.