Do Not Become One of THEM

UPDATE 1: After this post, I took a look at No Man's Sky and have had a change of heart regarding the game. It's actually quite a nice little game, and I... actually like the look and feel of it. Nevertheless, I'll leave this post up so you can see what my ramblings are like.

UPDATE 2 (8/12/2017): Well, now I've gone and bought the game one year later. Over the past year, I've maintained a detached and critical on the game and learned a bit more about its overhyped-ness and why it turned many off (mostly it's a lack of multiplayer, but the thing is I almost NEVER play multiplayer anyways), but I think the three updates over the past year have made it significantly more playable. Plus, I managed to get it on sale for under $25 so I won't have wasted quite as much if (and possibly when) I decide I don't like it, and I've been looking for a good space exploration game since Starbound 1.3 broke the mods I had installed and rendered it unplayable.

(If you want to see videos on said updates, check out Scott Manley's videos here.)

Now, here's my original post:

If you are a modern Internet-using human of the 21st century, you are right now almost certainly aware of two things:

1. Donald Trump is a moron who wants to nuke the world, yet nobody's doing anything to stop him
2. There's this game called No Man's Sky

The first one doesn't matter to me so much (mostly because politics are like sausage, in that it's best not to get into it unless it's your line of work), so let us discuss the second thing that's more pertinent to this blog. No Man's Sky is a game that promises to let players explore a realistically-scaled galaxy and harvest its contents. I am here to tell you that there is one reason not to play it: it is part of an insidious world domination ploy.

The perpetrators of this plot is an enigmatic agency that has no official name and denies its existence, so let's just refer to them as THEM. THEIR goal is to topple all existing governments and create a New World Order with THEMSELVES in charge in their places. THEY are believed to have existed for centuries, lurking in the shadows until the technology to allow THEM to achieve this goal is developed. Sadly, No Man's Sky is that technology.

Using subliminal messages hidden throughout the game, THEY intend to lull players of No Man's Sky into supporting THEIR cause, effectively becoming THEIR sleeper agents. When the time is just right, THEY will activate their sleeper agents and use them to cause enough chaos to seize control of the entire world.

Obviously, this is a bad thing. In fact, it's even worse than the dystopia that could follow Donald Trump's ascension (not that that'll happen IMHO). Thankfully, the way to avoid this is simple: do not play No Man's Sky. If you do not play it, then THEY cannot enslave you and use you to further THEIR insidious plot.

Thank you, that is all. Just remember: don't fall for THEIR tricks!

Also, just to be safe, don't mess with Fallen Empires, unless you like a highly-advanced
civilization that has existed for millennia wiping the floor with you with ringworlds
and tachyon lances.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, this page is a huge joke poking fun at the hype surrounding No Man's Sky as well as those darned conspiracy theorists who seriously believe that Obama/Queen Elizabeth/[insert world leader here] is a lizard in disguise attempting to seize power for their alien lizard overlords or that the moon landings never happened (the latter of which is definitely false, the former almost certainly false). In reality, I don't hate No Man's Sky as much as I think it's over-hyped, and personally I'm not all that interested in it. Sure, a realistic galaxy to explore with all sorts of animals and plants and planets is a very interesting idea, but there are other games that have done this to varying degrees; some of which I feel are superior. I might be pressured to try the game if I think it's interesting enough, but I probably won't cover it on this blog.
(Let's face it, once I had a similar opinion about Stellaris, but now it's easily one of my new favorite games!)
(You can almost certainly expect me to link THEM to Overwatch, though, 'cause that game is not only bizarre but also bizarrely over-hyped, exponentially so compared to No Man's Sky. Also, as far as I know, it has nothing to do with space). 

Stellaris: The Lyrite State, Part 2

Welcome back to my first (recorded) playthrough of the epic grand strategy space game Stellaris, where I guide a race of militant lizardpeople called the Lyrites from their homeworld (or homemoon?) of Lyrass to the voids of space. If anyone is actually reading this and wants to read the first part, I'll put a link down below. As we progress, I'll put links of all prior parts on each post so it's easier to navigate.

Previously...

• Part 1: In Which the Lyrite State Discovers Hyperlane Travel, Meets Strange Alien Races, and Establishes a Colony of Pollen Addicts

I, For One, Welcome Our New Alien Lizard Overlords

The LSS Lorod-Klonol was promptly dispatched to Roich to perform the daunting task of averting an impending nuclear war on the planet. Once it arrived, scientists from the ship worked with infiltrators to arrange for a conference of world leaders that called for nuclear disarmament and international cooperation, many of whom had already been replaced by Lyrites. The conference was a resounding success, and the replaced leaders gained more influence and popularity among the Haahn people.

However, things were not all peaches and cream on Haahn. The next year, an agent known by the
code-name X-32 went rogue and eloped with a Haahn female, abandoning a mission he felt was unjust. After a year alone with his girlfriend, he sent a transmission to the Lyrite government stating that if anyone attempted to hunt him down and bring him to justice, he would kill to protect himself and his girlfriend, and that the infiltration should be cancelled and the planet should be left alone. When his demands went unfulfilled, he used a list of operatives in his old cell to notify local authorities of their whereabouts. The infiltrators were promptly hunted down, and those who were arrested disintegrated themselves before they could be brought to a trial and possibly discovered.

Despite subsequent setbacks, the infiltration continued as planned and more and more Haahn leaders were replaced. Finally, in December 2218, Lyrite operatives dominated Roich's political landscape: virtually every politician was now a Lyrite. The leaders manipulated their governments so that the planet could be unified. When this was complete, a ceremony was held at the planet's capital, complete with drone fighters, parades and fireworks. The ceremony culminated in an envoy signing a petition for the planet to be officially annexed into the Lyrite State. The path required to achieve this moment had been filled with setbacks and strife, but at last a new species had joined the Lyrite State.

The End of Mharin Kharin

In 2214, on the first extralyrassian colony of Kluxared, the remote-administration had taken notice of a divisions of the colonial defenses. These fanatics were repulsed by the Mharin Kharin plant that had been used as a drug since shortly after the first settlers arrived on the planet. They went as far as to stay indoors due to the pollen in the planet's air. The administration elected to use the troops to mount what they called "an offensive like no other" on the plant.

Thus began what was termed "Project Fregnal-Sud",* a project to remove all traces of Mharin Kharin and improve conditions on the planet. The project would proceed in two phases: 

• Phase one would involve sweeping through populated areas and using herbicides on the Mharin Kharin plant.
• Phase two would involve the construction of atmospheric processors that had originally been used to clean up industrial wastelands left over from the pre-Unification eraon Lyrass. These processors would purge Mharin Kharin's narcotic pollen from the atmosphere, with the dual purpose of preventing citizens from getting addicted and halting the plant's spread.

While the project was not without controversy on both Kluxared and Lyrass, it nevertheless proceeded according to plan. In less than six Lyrassian orbits,** the Mharin Kharin plant had been completely eradicated from most urban areas and confined to controlled preserve areas on the planet. However, it would take longer for the populace to recover from what would come to be known as "the greatest cold turkey in galactic history".

Regarding the project, Consul Kulegaf would say "we should've done this a long time ago", and would soon pass a policy requiring that future colonies take detailed surveys of their planet's flora in the hopes of averting another incident like that on Kluxared.

*Fregnal-Sud literally translates to "Pleasant Breeze", but is commonly used to mean "fresh air".

**One Lyrassian orbit is roughly 15 Earth days, derived from the length of time it takes for Lyrass to orbit its parent gas giant.

An Unexpected War

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." -Napoleon Bonaparte 

In 2217, the galaxy (or at least the part of it the Lyrites and their neighbors called home) was shocked when leaked intelligence reports indicated that the Djomar Commonwealth had amassed its main military fleet in the Padjitauron system, on the border with the Lyrite's neighbors and political rivals, the Till'Lynesi Empire. Many suspected that war between the two was imminent, and those suspicions proved true when the Djomar President made a speech on July 28:

For years, the xenos calling themselves as the Till'Lynesi have proven to be incapable of civilized diplomacy. While not inherently xenophobic, they believe themselves to be inherently superior to their neighbors, despite clear evidence to the contrary: namely, us. We have explored space for decades longer than they have, and our fleets are more powerful than theirs. Today, I intend to prove that to them: as of today, a state of war exists between us and the Till'Lynesi Empire. We cannot allow them to spread and become a threat to our neighbors!

Made using in-game screenshots and GIMP. Could've looked a bit better honestly, but oh well. It was a bit rushed...

Lyrite Naval Intelligence reported that the Djomar fleets were more than a match for the Till'Lynesi ships, with sturdier armor and more powerful shielding. Many Lyrites argued that they should intervene and assist the Djomar, but those claims were rebutted with the words of Frexanog:

When someone else fights your enemy, let them do the fighting and come in only after your enemy is utterly routed.

True to predictions, the war went badly for the Till'Lynesi. Their ships lost engagement after engagement until they did not even have a fleet to speak of. When the last of their ships was annihilated, there was nothing stopping the Djomar from bombarding the Till'Lynesi homeworld of Tilla and their colony in the Lambda Serpentis system. Once the planetary defenses were reduced to rubble, the Djomar landed their armies and began an all-out invasion.

A Djomar fleet raids a mining station near the Till'Lynesi-Lyrite border.
Due to the placement of a nearby colony, this skirmish was the
only battle in the war picked up on Lyrite sensors, allowing Lyrite Naval
Intelligence to evaluate Djomar vessels.

Overrun, the Till'Lynesi had no choice but to surrender. As part of the Treaty of Tilla, their government was officially disbanded and replaced with a Djomar-led puppet regime called the "Democratic Till'Lyensi Suns" that was seemingly independent but was in reality only a vassal state with no democratic freedom other than what the Djomar demanded.

True to the President's words, this did indeed prove the strength of the Djomar as a superior power that was not above using force to secure their territory. Thankfully, they maintained a cordial attitude towards the Lyrite people and considered them worthy of respect, in no small part because both understood the merits of allowing individual freedom.

The End?

This brings us to the end of another part. Unfortunately, this may ultimately be the last one. You see, Patch 1.2 (nicknamed Asimov by the development team) has recently been released, and it brings significant changes to the game, especially to diplomacy. I fear that these changes may possibly break the game I'm currently playing. If it doesn't break things too badly, then I will continue this without any delays. But if it turns out this is utterly unplayable, then I plan on starting up a new game with a different species and chronicling their history.

Whatever the case, I hope whoever is actually reading this enjoys my playthroughs.

Stellaris: The Lyrite State, Part 1

For my first detailed playthrough on this blog, I've decided to cover one of my new favorite games: Stellaris, a space grand strategy game with an incredible level of depth, detail, and (most importantly) storytelling potential. It was developed by the Sweden-based company Paradox Interactive, who you may know better as the developers of historical strategy games like Crusader Kings II.

Stellaris has been out for about a month and a half as of the time of writing, and I've only played a few games yet had many stories to tell. I figured it was time to combine Stellaris' potential for stories with my literary talents here on this blog. So, without further ado, let me tell the story of the Lyrite State, a democracy with an emphasis on military:

New Life and New Civilizations

The Lyrites evolved from intelligent lizard analogues in the temperate poles of the arid moon of Lyrass. After they began settling their first cities in fertile lands roughly 5,000 years ago, they formed a multitude of city-states that vied for influence and the moon's limited resources. This stayed pretty much the same until the early 22nd century AD. In that year, as the city-states became technologically equivalent to Earth in the early 1900's, a warlord named Frexanog began a series of conquests that would culminate in the unification of Lyrass and the foundation of the Lyrite State in the year 2120. The Lyrite State is a democracy led by an elected Consul where citizenship is earned through military service. Contrary to what may be expected, the Lyrite State is non-oppressive and guarantees several freedoms to all, citizen or not.

Societal Ethics: Fanatic Militarist (better-trained armies), Individualist (values
freedom over the state)
Species Traits: Communal (like living together),
Charismatic (friendly to aliens),
Quick Learners (leaders gain experience faster),
Sedentary (less willing to leave),
Arid Preference (greater habitability/happiness on drier planets)

In the year 2180, Lyrite scientists discovered that all stars in the galaxy were connected by a network of "tunnels" in space-time. Any ship entering these tunnels would be able to achieve faster-than-light speeds, able to traverse interstellar distances in mere days. For this reason, they were called "hyperlanes", and research & development into hyperspace engines began. 20 years later, as the 23rd century dawned, the first fleets of FTL-capable ships were launched into orbit of Lyrass, and the Lyrite State began a new chapter in interstellar history.

The Final Frontier

The Lyrite State began its interstellar history by surveying its home system of Karuss for deposits that could be of use, while a military fleet was dispatched to scout the stars connected to Karuss by the hyperlane network. Three months later, scientists on Lyrass were startled to learn of the existence of an alien species in the Mathonis system. Apparently, the fleet had discovered alien vessels and infrastructure in orbit of a habitable moon orbiting one of Mathonis's gas giants. From initial scans, it was determined the aliens were technologically on-par with the Lyrites.

The scientific community was rocked again in September 2201, with the revelation that Lyrite activities were beginning to cause a mass extinction of many species on Lyrass. The scientists suggested researching other worlds in an effort to determine how to undo this, as Lyrass had a very delicate ecology.

As science ships began making their way beyond the Karuss system over the next few years, they uncovered evidence of an ancient alien species in the Gilprim system: the Vultaum, a race of worm-like creatures who controlled the space in the vicinity of Gilprim some 12 million years earlier. However, the most astonishing finds were yet to come.

First Contact

While spaceborne creatures ranging from the docile Tiyanki to the ethereal Void Clouds had been discovered and several habitable planets had been surveyed and evaluated for future expansion, the Lyrites had yet to meet a fully-fledged star empire. That changed in the first few days of the year 2204, when they were contacted by the previously-discovered natives of the Mathonis system: the Mathin.
Much to the relief of Consul Faragulek, the Mathin turned out to be a peaceful, religious race of octopus-like creatures interested in cooperative co-existence with other species, such as the Lyrites. Once news of the event reached the Lyrite public, they had mixed opinions: some viewed the Mathin as potential allies, while others viewed the Mathin as weak pacifists and targets for potential conquest. Nevertheless, Faragulek began work on improving relations with the Mathin in the hopes of gaining a new ally.

Soon, more alien races revealed themselves: the Till'Lynesi were an avian race alike in ideology to the Lyrites but were viewed as a potential competition and threat since their preferred conditions matched those of the Lyrites; the Bokasherans were much like the aforementioned Till'Lynesi but not as much of a concern; and later the Djomar, who were more advanced than their neighbors but were thankfully peaceful and democratic spiritualists like the Mathin. However, xeno-diplomacy would have to wait, as a new threat emerged within the Lyrite State's borders.

Here Be Pirates

Marauding gangs of criminal thugs had lurked on Lyrass for many centuries, looting whatever they could find. While many were kept in line by the military, they were viewed as non-threats. But in 2206, one gang managed to steal a number of civilian freighters and convert them into warships. Establishing a base on an asteroid in the Satrinas system, they called themselves the "Feral Companions" and began raiding mining stations in the hopes of gaining resources to further their piracy. At first, the newly-elected Consul Kulegaf was content to ignore the pirates; he viewed them more as a nuisance. But the pirates proved themselves when they attacked and destroyed an energy refinery station in orbit of the gas giant Atlabba II. 

Kulegaf began preparing the fleet for a counterattack by building new corvettes to augment the fleet's relative power. Unfortunately, just as the fleet was in position, the pirates raced back to their base in Satrinas to prepare for another attack, and the fleet followed them. With the combined power of the base and the raiders, the Lyrite fleet was destroyed. However, the raider fleet was cut in half, which was a small victory in an otherwise crushing defeat.

In response, Kulegaf prepared a new fleet of corvettes equipped with newly-discovered deflector shields, appointed an admiral, and changed the name of the fleet to "F███ You Pirates" as his own personal revenge. The fleet had to be deployed early when the Feral Companions returned to Kurass to menace the civilian ships. The fleet was pursued back to Satrinas, where this time both raiders and base were destroyed. The few pirates who survived the destruction of their base were arrested and returned to Lyrass for a court-martial, and the victorious fleet was renamed to "F███ You Till'Lynesi" as Kulegaf and the Lyrite military began making plans for invasion.

The Mharin Kharin Crisis

In December 2205, amidst the discovery of other spacefaring races like the Mathin and Till'Lynesi, the Bax system showed particular promise, as it was discovered there were two worlds with conditions suitable for colonization. However, with initially only one colony ship, the planet of Bax I was chosen to be settled first. The first pioneers named the world Kluxared, after an ancient Lyrite messenger god.

In January 2209, as the colony continued to be developed, several botanically-minded settlers noticed

that several plants on Kluxared had complex pollen. The scientific ship Lorod-Klonol was dispatched to investigate the pollen, but found no noteworthy qualities other than its stimulating effects on Lyrite settlers and ability to mutate. Further studies of Kluxared's flora were put on hold as colonial development took priority and the Lyrite State continued to reel from the effects of the space pirates. However, it would later be discovered that this pollen acted on Lyrite pheromone receptors as a mild aphrodisiac and gave Lyrites a barely perceptible high. One plant in particular produced an extremely potent pollen: a flower found all across Kluxared that had been uncatalogued due to a hold on botanical studies but already known to the colonists as "Mharin Kharin". Intrigued by the phenomenon, Kulegaf decided to see what could happen next.

At first, little happened, but in 2211 studies showed the pollen made the settlers less productive. Once again, a science ship was ordered to investigate methods of making production on Kluxared more efficient to compensate. While production would later remain low, administrators managed to separate colonists from flower (it had been discovered the settlers loved being next to the Mharin Kharin flower, obviously addicted to its pollen). A survey published a few months later in 2212 showed that Lyrites were less willing to move away from Kluxared due to the effects of Mharin Kharin. Kulegaf, who had been re-elected, opted to continue observing the effects Mharin Kharin had on the populace. But the worst was yet to come.

Four months after the survey, administrative officials on Kluxared had trouble communicating with Lyrass. Kulegaf declared a code mauve and deployed an administrative task force to hopefully restore order on Kluxared. But the task force sided with Kluxared officials and did little to help. Their dissension was soon discovered, and the difficult decision was made to administer the colony directly from Lyrass. Soon, Mharin Kharin's proliferation across the planet was surpressed and colonists were instructed not to "use" it, even though this meant preventing them from smelling flowers.

The Slow Invasion of Roich

An overview of the planet Roich and its natives.
Paradoxically, Haahns learn slowly but their leaders are highly
skilled...

In 2209, as Kluxared's addictive pollen was first being discovered, a survey of a "dead end" on the hyperlane network initially discovered another colonizable planet orbiting the star named Galpan, but as exploration of the system continued, another discovery was made: a pre-FTL species named the Haahn was discovered living on the oceanic planet Roich. The Haahn nation-states had discovered how to split the atom and were constantly on the verge of nuclear holocaust. After much deliberation, Consul Kulegaf had an idea: several covert agents disguised as Haahn would manipulate national governments and prepare the planet for Lyrite control by infiltrating society and replacing key leaders*.

At first, the infiltration went well, and Kulegaf was intrigued as to what would happen. But the project was soon plagued with setbacks as a infiltrator-backed coup in a major Haahn nation failed with the deaths of those involved. Nevertheless, Kulegaf remained hopeful that a positive result could happen. 

But many of his hopes died in 2214 when an attempt to replace a particularly powerful Haahn leader
backfired: The agents were discovered, and those who weren't killed by the leader's guards committed suicide to avoid capture. While this in of itself was bad, things got even worse when a rival nation-state was blamed for the incident. This sent diplomatic waves across Roich, and many nations built up their armed forces. The infiltrators had a plan to avert global war and possible nuclear annihilation with the aid of specially-prepared propaganda, but another ship needed to be dispatched to aid them. The doomsday clock on Roich was ticking...

*No confirmation has been made as to whether similar incidences have been reported on a mostly-harmless world named Earth.

To Be Continued...

Well, that's what I call a cliffhanger! And no cliffhanger would be complete without me asking rhetorical questions, so here I go:

Will nuclear war be averted on Roich? What will happen to the Haanh when the infiltration mission is complete? What else is the Mharin Kharin plant on Kluxared capable of? And, most importantly, will Kulegaf finally get fed up with the Till'Lynesi and send in a fleet to invade them? Wait for the next part to find the answer to these questions and others!

You Do Not Mess With the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster Messes with You

A few days ago, I decided to sit down and play a bit of my most favorite game: Spore. For those unaware, please feel free to read this paragraph. For those aware, feel free to skip this paragraph.

Spore is a rather old game (it was released on September 7, 2008) that has been pretty much abandoned by its developers since 2011, but continues to be fun and interesting as well as have a thriving community of fans (contrary to popular belief). In Spore, you evolve a lifeform from a single-celled microbe in the primordial soup to an interstellar alien race. There are many different ways to play it: you can be a tyrannical warlord or a peaceful trader. You explore a galaxy filled with beings, buildings, and vehicles other players have created, so it's a blend of singleplayer and multiplayer. The last (and only) major expansion pack was Spore Galactic Adventures, released in June 2009. It allows you to beam down onto planets and complete adventures made by players for fun and profit.

You see that striped orange cell? With the spikes? That's what I'm talking about.
(Not the big orange one in the background).

Now, onto the actual point of this post. As I was playing Spore the "old-fashioned" way, I began my journey in a crowded tidepool. Naturally, some of those little cells are going to be meaner than others, but I soon came across the meanest cell species of all: the Spiked Shyster. I can claim to be an expert on Spore, so I wasn't too surprised by seeing the Shyster and its ruthlessness. But that day, it dawned on me how ruthless the Spiked Shyster actually is.

It began with me minding my microscopic business, eating another cell called a Chomper that the Spiked Shyster attacked earlier. However, as I was eating the remains, another Spiked Shyster came into the area, noticed me, and chased me along with its friend. I outran them, eating meats to grow along the way. Eventually, I got bigger than them and turned to face them. But it doesn't end there, for the Shysters continued to injure me as I tried to eat them. Somehow, I did just that.

So, in conclusion, as you play Spore and meander the tidepool, remember this: You do not ████ the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster ████s you.

Welcome to the Space Gaming Fun Time Blog

Welcome to my humble new blog! While there may not be much here now save for this one post, I hope to post little playthroughs of fun and exciting space and sci-fi themed games like Spore, Kerbal Space Program, and Stellaris. There may be a few other non-space games here that I may post, but expect these to be rare.