You Do Not Mess With the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster Messes with You

A few days ago, I decided to sit down and play a bit of my most favorite game: Spore. For those unaware, please feel free to read this paragraph. For those aware, feel free to skip this paragraph.

Spore is a rather old game (it was released on September 7, 2008) that has been pretty much abandoned by its developers since 2011, but continues to be fun and interesting as well as have a thriving community of fans (contrary to popular belief). In Spore, you evolve a lifeform from a single-celled microbe in the primordial soup to an interstellar alien race. There are many different ways to play it: you can be a tyrannical warlord or a peaceful trader. You explore a galaxy filled with beings, buildings, and vehicles other players have created, so it's a blend of singleplayer and multiplayer. The last (and only) major expansion pack was Spore Galactic Adventures, released in June 2009. It allows you to beam down onto planets and complete adventures made by players for fun and profit.

You see that striped orange cell? With the spikes? That's what I'm talking about.
(Not the big orange one in the background).

Now, onto the actual point of this post. As I was playing Spore the "old-fashioned" way, I began my journey in a crowded tidepool. Naturally, some of those little cells are going to be meaner than others, but I soon came across the meanest cell species of all: the Spiked Shyster. I can claim to be an expert on Spore, so I wasn't too surprised by seeing the Shyster and its ruthlessness. But that day, it dawned on me how ruthless the Spiked Shyster actually is.

It began with me minding my microscopic business, eating another cell called a Chomper that the Spiked Shyster attacked earlier. However, as I was eating the remains, another Spiked Shyster came into the area, noticed me, and chased me along with its friend. I outran them, eating meats to grow along the way. Eventually, I got bigger than them and turned to face them. But it doesn't end there, for the Shysters continued to injure me as I tried to eat them. Somehow, I did just that.

So, in conclusion, as you play Spore and meander the tidepool, remember this: You do not ████ the Spiked Shyster, the Spiked Shyster ████s you.