Do Not Become One of THEM

UPDATE 1: After this post, I took a look at No Man's Sky and have had a change of heart regarding the game. It's actually quite a nice little game, and I... actually like the look and feel of it. Nevertheless, I'll leave this post up so you can see what my ramblings are like.

UPDATE 2 (8/12/2017): Well, now I've gone and bought the game one year later. Over the past year, I've maintained a detached and critical on the game and learned a bit more about its overhyped-ness and why it turned many off (mostly it's a lack of multiplayer, but the thing is I almost NEVER play multiplayer anyways), but I think the three updates over the past year have made it significantly more playable. Plus, I managed to get it on sale for under $25 so I won't have wasted quite as much if (and possibly when) I decide I don't like it, and I've been looking for a good space exploration game since Starbound 1.3 broke the mods I had installed and rendered it unplayable.

(If you want to see videos on said updates, check out Scott Manley's videos here.)

Now, here's my original post:

If you are a modern Internet-using human of the 21st century, you are right now almost certainly aware of two things:

1. Donald Trump is a moron who wants to nuke the world, yet nobody's doing anything to stop him
2. There's this game called No Man's Sky

The first one doesn't matter to me so much (mostly because politics are like sausage, in that it's best not to get into it unless it's your line of work), so let us discuss the second thing that's more pertinent to this blog. No Man's Sky is a game that promises to let players explore a realistically-scaled galaxy and harvest its contents. I am here to tell you that there is one reason not to play it: it is part of an insidious world domination ploy.

The perpetrators of this plot is an enigmatic agency that has no official name and denies its existence, so let's just refer to them as THEM. THEIR goal is to topple all existing governments and create a New World Order with THEMSELVES in charge in their places. THEY are believed to have existed for centuries, lurking in the shadows until the technology to allow THEM to achieve this goal is developed. Sadly, No Man's Sky is that technology.

Using subliminal messages hidden throughout the game, THEY intend to lull players of No Man's Sky into supporting THEIR cause, effectively becoming THEIR sleeper agents. When the time is just right, THEY will activate their sleeper agents and use them to cause enough chaos to seize control of the entire world.

Obviously, this is a bad thing. In fact, it's even worse than the dystopia that could follow Donald Trump's ascension (not that that'll happen IMHO). Thankfully, the way to avoid this is simple: do not play No Man's Sky. If you do not play it, then THEY cannot enslave you and use you to further THEIR insidious plot.

Thank you, that is all. Just remember: don't fall for THEIR tricks!

Also, just to be safe, don't mess with Fallen Empires, unless you like a highly-advanced
civilization that has existed for millennia wiping the floor with you with ringworlds
and tachyon lances.

DISCLAIMER: Yes, this page is a huge joke poking fun at the hype surrounding No Man's Sky as well as those darned conspiracy theorists who seriously believe that Obama/Queen Elizabeth/[insert world leader here] is a lizard in disguise attempting to seize power for their alien lizard overlords or that the moon landings never happened (the latter of which is definitely false, the former almost certainly false). In reality, I don't hate No Man's Sky as much as I think it's over-hyped, and personally I'm not all that interested in it. Sure, a realistic galaxy to explore with all sorts of animals and plants and planets is a very interesting idea, but there are other games that have done this to varying degrees; some of which I feel are superior. I might be pressured to try the game if I think it's interesting enough, but I probably won't cover it on this blog.
(Let's face it, once I had a similar opinion about Stellaris, but now it's easily one of my new favorite games!)
(You can almost certainly expect me to link THEM to Overwatch, though, 'cause that game is not only bizarre but also bizarrely over-hyped, exponentially so compared to No Man's Sky. Also, as far as I know, it has nothing to do with space).